Happy New Year

No money, no job and pushing 30. My one wish for 2019 is that it isn't 2018 part 2. Ffs knowing my luck it will be. Why can't "my luck" be the kind of luck that wins euromillions when the jackpot is over £100million? One good thing is that I'm not starting 2019 fatter than... Continue Reading →

That’s life

Imagine this. It's a weekday. You get up at 6am and by the time you're ready to leave your home it's 6:45am. You spend an hour commuting to work on underground trains that only move when enough energy has been harvested from the groans of the drained commuters on board. A woman with crepe-paper skin... Continue Reading →

Hating my job

I'm a dumb sheep. I'm easily influenced and I admit to just following the herd and opting for a "safe career option" when I finsihed university. I naively thought I would be happy in an office. The marketing materials for office jobs are deceptive. In reality I was spending 12 hours of my day straining... Continue Reading →

Getting used to doing nothing

I've had about 4 months of doing nothing. The first three months I managed to effectively distract myself and in truth I wasn't genuinely doing nothing, I just wasn't at work. I was occupied though. However, for the last month I have almost exclusively been doing nothing. I'm doing nothing with a purpose. It is... Continue Reading →

Glamorous city lifestyles

I was a student in London a few years back and on my commute to and from university I would see super professional looking people on the tube. Snazzy suits, snappy shirts, shiny shoes. Riding the tube with the latest phone in hand and looking like they're catching up on some super important emails. Too... Continue Reading →

Nameless suits floating around the city

One thing I have observed while working in the City of London is the amount of empty suits rushing around from one business meeting to the next. They often have perfect estate-agent-eque slick gelled hair.  I guess I'm essentially painting a picture of what the rat-race looks like. I have never really understood the point... Continue Reading →

Seeing a shrink for being shy

I’ve been told many times that I am shy, in an accusatory tone. The type of people who say this to me are usually vanilla bland basic bitches. I like to think that the single defining feature to their personality is that they are hiding a faeces fetish. They accuse me as they are scared... Continue Reading →

tv friends

I've been off work for a while now and I'm in a self-imposed exile from my friends. I'm no longer getting up at 5:45am and rushing out to get the tube to work. Oh no,  I have a whole new routine now. So I wake up at about 8am and get ready for the day.... Continue Reading →

Burping through a straw

I've had a lot of free time recently. Usually having an extended period of free time is something that I fantasized about. I would think to myself,  "I'll fill it with all the things I don't find time to do while at work, I'll go for long walks, I'll become a soundcloud rapper and I'll... Continue Reading →

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