Broken butt 

A few weekends ago I happened to partake in some self inflicted public humiliation.

I’ve always wanted to learn how to use a pair of inline skates. Thing is I have crap balance and I’m fat. I was a blob on wheels, and if that wasn’t humiliating enough, I had to go falling (bouncing) on my arse several times on the first Sunday in Spring in the afternoon in Hyde Park. Busy. Many people saw. I wasn’t skating, more dragging as I later found out I was in fact way beyond the weight range that my skates could handle. The wheels ground down against the floor under my weight. So classy.

I didn’t go alone. My skating partner happily glided around the park while I was dealing with balancing on wheels bucking under my weight about 50 meters behind.

I woke up the next day to find one butt cheek blue and the other red. I am disposing of said skates. Might order a pair of four wheelers because they look easier and fun.

After this horrific experience I concluded shoes should not have wheels and the limited movement I do is best done indoors.

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