Great American Eclipse

I know it’s been a while since I’ve posted. LOL Anyway…

About a month ago me and a friend I have known for 10 years flew half way across the world to drive the entire length (almost) of a country. We started at Seattle and finished in LA. 

Half way through our trip we stopped in Salem, Oregon to witness the Great American Eclipse. 

The eclipse was amazing. Totality was indescribable. It didn’t last long enough! Pictures don’t do it justice… yada yada yada. 

After totality we decided to leave for the 9 hour drive to San Fransisco. We filled up the car with gas and headed to the i5. 

The road between Salem and Eugene is usually a 40 minute drive. It took 6 hours. Everyone watching the eclipse had the really smart idea to leave at the same time. It was hot, boring and painful.

To kill time we had to try to occupy ourselves. We tried counting all the licence plates from different states although we were surrounded almost exclusively by Californians and Oregonians. 

When you spend such a long time in a traffic jam you inadvertently make traffic jam friends. Or at least we did but that probably says more about our mental state than anything. Here is a list of the buds we made:

  •  The Dickheads In Front – Arsehole Nevada guys in their white GMC pickup were in front for a good portion of the leg.  They would occasionally throw their urine out of bottles out the window. I guess it is a long drive to Nevada.
  • Oregonian Boy Woman – behind in a brown people carrier. No matter what angle we saw him from we were not able to determine his gender. The bald patch would throw us toward male. The flower pattern sleeves and delicate jawline would scream female.
  • Titus – a Californian, driving his Nissan Titan black pickup.
  • Feet People – the numerous Californians who thought it to be socially acceptable to be driven around with their feet out the window.
  • Oregonian Hillbillys – they were swerving and braking in the road and were driving the most clapped out pickup I’ve ever seen. They also had straw hats on their heads and string vests. 
  • Cocktail Caravaners – had a sick RV with a “cocktail caravaners” plaque on the ladder on the back of their truck. Their RV was LIT. 
  • Numerous “me and my mercedes/bmw/Audi” with California licence plates 
  • Uber Friends – a group of people in a Toyota Prius who caught us bopping along to some shit on the radio and mimic car danced and waved to us for a bit. 
  • Arsehole on the motorbike PULL OVER FFS WHY DID YOU HAVE TO COME IN FRONT OF US SO DANGEROUS – kept zig zagging at low speeds and short distances. 

When we eventually made it past Eugene we had an relatively pleasant drive down to Roseburg where we stopped in Wendy’s. We used an authentic gas station toilet slightly south of Roseburg. 

It was at Roseburg that we ended up driving through a fierce forest fire. The sky was covered with a milky pink fog basically until we got to California. 

We drove to Redding and stopped at Denny’s to eat (an experience I wish not to recall). From there we drove straight to SF and arrived at 5:30am after leaving Salem at 10:45am. 

In my infinite wisdom I had booked Alcatraz for 9am. We had 2 hours to sleep. We barely made it to Alcatraz. We looked chic. 

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