Nameless suits floating around the city

One thing I have observed while working in the City of London is the amount of empty suits rushing around from one business meeting to the next. They often have perfect estate-agent-eque slick gelled hair.  I guess I'm essentially painting a picture of what the rat-race looks like. I have never really understood the point... Continue Reading →

Seeing a shrink for being shy

I’ve been told many times that I am shy, in an accusatory tone. The type of people who say this to me are usually vanilla bland basic bitches. I like to think that the single defining feature to their personality is that they are hiding a faeces fetish. They accuse me as they are scared... Continue Reading →

tv friends

I've been off work for a while now and I'm in a self-imposed exile from my friends. I'm no longer getting up at 5:45am and rushing out to get the tube to work. Oh no,  I have a whole new routine now. So I wake up at about 8am and get ready for the day.... Continue Reading →

Burping through a straw

I've had a lot of free time recently. Usually having an extended period of free time is something that I fantasized about. I would think to myself,  "I'll fill it with all the things I don't find time to do while at work, I'll go for long walks, I'll become a soundcloud rapper and I'll... Continue Reading →

Mediocre life path

Job adverts for graduates are such bullshit. Many of these places advertise that you will "excel in your career". Excel 2007 more like. If a life of mediocrity in meetings while draped in Louis Vuitton and surrounded by humourless shells is something you want then gfi. At least the LV makes you feel like you're... Continue Reading →

Question time

Anyone who has been around those of a corporate disposition will understand where I am coming from here. "Make sure you ask lots of questions, there is no such thing as a stupid question" ...except there is when it comes out of my mouth. I really resent the idea that looking "interested" in stuff is... Continue Reading →

Cheap coats

I bought a cheap coat. I forgot for a second that I am larger than life. Such a noob. It's not like I even needed another coat, I have a perfectly fine more expensive coat that fits me well. I am aware price doesn't necessarily reflect quality but this coat was sooo cheap. It was... Continue Reading →

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