Wallowing in my own shit

There's nothing like being off work for 8 months and fucking up your sleeping pattern so badly that you struggle to get up at a reasonable, sociable hour. I know I sound like a right greasy slob right now but lately it really pains me to leave bed. In all honesty this to do with... Continue Reading →

That’s life

Imagine this. It's a weekday. You get up at 6am and by the time you're ready to leave your home it's 6:45am. You spend an hour commuting to work on underground trains that only move when enough energy has been harvested from the groans of the drained commuters on board. A woman with crepe-paper skin... Continue Reading →

Hating my job

I'm a dumb sheep. I'm easily influenced and I admit to just following the herd and opting for a "safe career option" when I finsihed university. I naively thought I would be happy in an office. The marketing materials for office jobs are deceptive. In reality I was spending 12 hours of my day straining... Continue Reading →

Getting used to doing nothing

I've had about 4 months of doing nothing. The first three months I managed to effectively distract myself and in truth I wasn't genuinely doing nothing, I just wasn't at work. I was occupied though. However, for the last month I have almost exclusively been doing nothing. I'm doing nothing with a purpose. It is... Continue Reading →

Nameless suits floating around the city

One thing I have observed while working in the City of London is the amount of empty suits rushing around from one business meeting to the next. They often have perfect estate-agent-eque slick gelled hair.  I guess I'm essentially painting a picture of what the rat-race looks like. I have never really understood the point... Continue Reading →

Seeing a shrink for being shy

I’ve been told many times that I am shy, in an accusatory tone. The type of people who say this to me are usually vanilla bland basic bitches. I like to think that the single defining feature to their personality is that they are hiding a faeces fetish. They accuse me as they are scared... Continue Reading →

tv friends

I've been off work for a while now and I'm in a self-imposed exile from my friends. I'm no longer getting up at 5:45am and rushing out to get the tube to work. Oh no,  I have a whole new routine now. So I wake up at about 8am and get ready for the day.... Continue Reading →

Burping through a straw

I've had a lot of free time recently. Usually having an extended period of free time is something that I fantasized about. I would think to myself,  "I'll fill it with all the things I don't find time to do while at work, I'll go for long walks, I'll become a soundcloud rapper and I'll... Continue Reading →

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